THE CRAPPER SPEAKS
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Discouragement always comes; I wasn't too prepared today. Had a heart full of criticism, I realised, through halfway in class. Decided I keep my mouth shut for the remainder of the day. Glad I did, but I'm still sore at the fact I couldn't repent
at that instant. Pity.
Was walking in hushed silence towards the MRT station. Feeling kind of lonely. You know, like everyone's in a small group here and there. It was there and then I realised how the rest felt. You know, like not being a part of the group. I've long decided to change that atmosphere, but today I've gotten only more convicted about it. Was really thinking long and hard, trying to find reasons to stop feeling that way. I realised I couldn't. We can talk, joke about love, but the only way for things to change is to initiate. Went straight home and started on my personal worship and QT straight after a fast dinner. God touched my heart and healed it.
Then, as if not enough, my mom came over to my room and we started talking. She began to relate to me her concerns for our family's well-being. She shared with me the life she once had, the life she is living now and the regrets. Then, the worst thing happen, she started tearing. I grabbed on to her hand as we talked. We talked about my maternal (adoptive) grandfather, how her anger changed into pity. Mom's a real nice person; I owe my heart to her. The whole incident caused me to feel more convicted about sharing to her the love of God. At that point, she started relating to me how her friend had brought her to church faithfully for 8 months, but gave up, breaking off the friendship (I raised my eyebrows) just when she was about to accept Christ as her Lord and Saviour. I found it quite a waste... Jesus could have changed her life totally, like 40 years ago... No matter, it'll be my turn now. Oh, and I also guessed correctly why she didn't receive Christ earlier; though her friend shared to her about Jesus, God and brought her to service faithfully, she never did asked her if she wanted to respond to God's call... Such a pity. The whole conversation encouraged me lots and lots though!
Mom, no worries, you didn't make a mistake bringing us up; we appreciate the chance to live and let live. :)Sam MSNed me today. Kind of cool talking to him, learning from him. Sorry, I never was a initiator; it's difficult but I will do it! Inspired by his timely message to do a Bible study starting from Matthew (was reading that). Matthew 1 took me some research time, but was useful as I've learnt far more than I ever knew. I was long inspired by the way how each verse carries a hidden message, but I never am able to get it. Thank God for you Sam!
And so I started on my Bible study, complete with interruptions through MSN! :X
Psychedelic;
10:27 AM
