THE CRAPPER SPEAKS
Friday, May 26, 2006
It's interesting how God places different events here and there in your life to really jolt you. I almost got how to play Heart Of Worship already! I still remember the time when I first got my guitar. I didn't have the discipline and heart to practise real hard for it. Well, the realisation that CG's going to split officially soon has got me on my toes. I'll admit this, I need all the help I can get. Why are my evangelistic efforts reaping zilch?
Fear. Or the lack of hope. I can't believe I've struggled with sharing for the past year. It's going to be a major breakthrough, and when I've finally passed that point, I'm going to jump, shout, scream, break down, or whatever you say. Don't care if I make a fool of myself. The real fool laughs at God's salvation and refuses it. But what fear am I talking about?...
...I shall unveil with a little story:
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The Little Weasel
Little Johnny winced in pain. Once again, he cursed the "fruits" of his "labour". Having a penchant for mischief and an indomitable spirit of poking fun, it was no easy task stopping himself for gatecrashing and messing up the plans of his family. There was even a point in Johnny's life he thought the whole family must have been cursed for having such a weasel in the bloodline. There was once when he tripped the son of his father's friend in an effort to spice up the mood of the outing. Big mistake. The poor kid wailed in pain, blood in between his teeth and Johnny suffered the repercussions of his well-meaning gesture. Try as he might, Johnny never could resist the temptation to create fun. Yet the aftermath left little to be desired. Often Johnny would get painful beatings for his effort. Bitter medicine for the mischievousness, they would say. For years little Johnny wondered the cause or motivation for his mischief...
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That's me. Yup. Naughty as anything. Now read the continuation.
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My Malignant Childhood
...Deep down inside, Johnny craved for attention. There was this deep longing to be recognised as important in his own little way. It didn't help that he was wedged between his elder brother's manly, future-head-of-the-household image and his younger brother's to-be-pampered-baby-child image. The tears came flowing frequently, often each night, and Johnny grew desperate in with each passing day. Each time the cane bore down at him, he felt lesser and lesser. There seemed to be no escape from the vicious cycle he was in. How Johnny longed to be sensible! Finally, in utter defeat, Johnny withdrew into a shell of his own. Johnny couldn't take much more, and it seemed the only option out. Even a little kid could understand what it means to have endured enough...
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No comments, read on...
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Post Childhood, Teen Angst
...All this while, Johnny felt like an alien among people. As the years passed, he grew up, yet seemed to remain in psychological stasis. No matter what he did, he didn't seem to be
growing up. There was still that inner child grappling within which exploded each time he tried to release the tension within. With no future in sight, Johnny skimmed through his teenhood, treating everything of minimal significance...
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Go on...
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Present To Future
..."Have you ever known of this great plan everyone has a part to play," Alvin asked.
"Well, no, I've got no idea. I've heard bits and pieces, but share more," Johnny replied. Before long, Johnny saw the only Way and Truth, and claimed it. Yet there was never a promise to eliminate all problems, only that he would not be alone when facing them. And Johnny has been in this battle ever since...
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What's to come in the future? God knows.
Psychedelic;
10:50 AM
