THE CRAPPER SPEAKS
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
As I grow in the Lord, I should be moving faster and faster towards Christ-likeness, and not slower! As it seems, and I hate to admit it, I'm getting to wish for more momentum in my growth. What about the rest of you guys? Do you, 1. Desire? If so, 2. Effort awaits you. Allowing you to, 3. Reap!
Tomorrow's going to be classy! CG's going to be awesome. God is going to move within our hearts, shake loose the foundations our sinful nature has on us! Watch out for an exciting segment and an even more exciting special guest! Classy! We'll outwit, outlast, outrun the Devil in this! God will assure that!
It's funny, how our emotions go roller-coast up and down. On the way home, I felt like crying. I felt quite helpless about the group. How can I sound the trumpet louder? How can I better rally the troops? How do you all want to be rallied?
When I fall, You break my fall. When I cry, You wipe my tears. When I dream, You provide the details. When I hurt, You rub the balm. When I pine, You fill the void. I am the reason that You died. You shall be the reason I live.If only I could give my heart away. I'd give every part of it.
Psychedelic;
9:49 AM
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
So much to say, yet so little brain juice. Suffice to say that the day was really really interesting. Met a NP brother, Ming Kuang, and a TP sister, Cindy, on the way home from skipping class. LOL.
*Don't shoot me, but I finally know who's Ming Kuang! ha ha, didn't know him prior to adding him on MSN courtesy of Vincent.*Travelled all the way from home at lazy Bukit Batok to happening Changi SAF Chalet for Pearl (Sharon's ex-classmate and current good friend)'s sister's birthday celebration. Learnt a little thing or two about leading worship from Alvin. It's so true; circumstances do affect people in so many ways. Today's affected my observation skills.
I am not going to
sing worship. I am going to
lead worship.
Often wondered why certain worship leaders' sessions impacted the congregation (whether big or small) more, while others less. Worship leading is all about creating the optimum atmosphere for the group to worship God,
not sing worship songs louder than others. It isn't easy for a newbie to get the hang of it, but I believe I can do it. The Care Group will be impacted the God way. Systems do help, but being Spirit-led is key. Anticipate as we take worship to the next level in RP2/4 this Thursday!
Inspired to expire. Induced to produce. Humbled by circumstances, gladdened by grace.I am so proud of the cross that hangs at my neck. It's nothing expensive, but it accentuates my position, a
revolutionist. I wanted to fix up something cool for Saturday which matches my necklace, but it just so happens I have info-counter duty. Oh well, info-counter duty rocks! I don't know why, but its interesting being a cashier and contributing to the KOG on Saturdays, though I can't sit in the service. Well, RP2 can jolly well
jump/scream/shout/respond for me! Come on, as a team!We don't want to be FAT Christians, fat and lazy on the Word. We want to be FIT Christians, fed by the Word, healthy through exercising response to the Word.
And Wang Lee Hom's song's on Yes 933. Awesome.
The hand that descended from Heaven to pick my little hands. Descend some more as I raise my hands more.
Psychedelic;
9:40 AM
Monday, May 29, 2006
Couldn't resist the temptation.
I AM FRUSTRATED!
*Out*
Psychedelic;
9:51 AM
After this, RP2 and 4 are splitting officially. That means my guitar practice is extremely important... That's my motivation to play. For CG, for God. Because honestly, my real love is the saxophone. I heard it's played rather similar to the recorder, and that I know how to play. Planned some extras to add vibe to the CG. There's going to be some serious life-changing. And I'll see what miracles God will do in me personally.
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The Finalists:
Divine Exchange
When God Ran
Who Am I
We Are The Reason
The Winner:
We Are The Reason
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Wonderful! *sarcastic*
Okay that was totally random... or not.
God help me. Not looking good. Situation I mean. I should really learn to give thanks from the bottom of my heart.
*From the bottom of my heart* Thanks a million. >_<"!
Psychedelic;
9:05 AM
So I've finished all my work like a good boy. Riiight. It's getting boring in here. I want to go home to practise my guitar! And go do my QT.
BUT I CAN'T! Not yet anyway. Recently been feeling a lot much more tested than ever. Can we see some response within the team? I thank all who've been an integral part of my life. Life's little more than a piece of rotten wood tossed along by waves if we don't respond. I'm terrified. The coming CG's the last combined CG. I'm practising everyday, from scratch, to get ready for the transition.
If I'm the problem, change me. Make me into a guide to the solution that is You.And I guess I dreadfully downplay my response to encouragement and peoples' belief in me. Trust me, I appreciate it all.
Smile.****
To You
Here I stand
Forever in Your mighty hands
Living with Your promise
Written on my heart
I am Yours
Surrendered wholly to You
You set me in Your family
Calling me Your own
Now I
I belong to You
All I need
Your Spirit, Your Word Your truth
Here my cry
My deep desire
To know you more
In Your Name
I will lift my hands
To the King
This anthem of praise I bring
Heaven knows
I long to love You
With all I am
I belong to You
****
A brother from NP, Ming Kuang, sent this to me. He was searching for it, and asked me if I had it; I didn't. Nevertheless, he took the time to pass it to me. An awesome victory song.
I will remember, that hand that reached down from the heavens. We're never alone. And I'm reaching up in response.Gosh, how dead tired am I. Jia you! 4 more days!!!
Psychedelic;
6:32 AM
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Somehow it came back to me once again. The dream I had yesterday night. I think that's why I had a *good* 12 hour sleep.
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The Massacre (My Experience With Death)
Tension hung heavy in the air. There was little doubting it, the tiniest spark would eventually erupt into the bloodiest of war. Everyone stared in bated breath as the verdict was cast.
"We attack now!" My heart froze. The culling blade had just been released. "The soverign state of Ci will not be slighted any further!"
Everyone withdrawn into their houses as the tanks rolled in, taking centrestage of the bloodshed which was about to take place. I was utter terrified; I had never seen a war before. I couldn't think of anything to do while our forces attacked the state of Jae. All that separated the inevitable was a craggy slope that lay before the encroaching tanks. In an utterly selfish thought, I was glad that I would be on the safe side of the war. I was, after all, on the attacking side.
****
****
The bloodshed was truly abhorrent. Death lay at all corners of the state of Jae. Yet the irony of it all lay apparent: Ci had lost the war. The state of Jae had played its cards well. The ambush was perfectly orchestrated. No one could see what was coming. Not a single soul lay in sight when the tanks had breached the main city gates. All that was left was empty houses. Then, without warning, a barrage of artillery fire rained down. The resultant damage was collossal. Mangled bodies lay all around. Yet even though I wasn't onsite, I could strangely see every single grotesque image in my mind. I could picture the frozen expressions contorted in a mask of horror.
In spite of all that happened, there was no time to mourn. We all knew the consequences. The state of Jae had long been suffocating our state. All had changed since we renounced a lift of excesses and embraced a community of love and faith. Sadly, having a geographical plan as compact as ours, we were all sitting ducks for the retaliation that was to come; our state was surrounded by naturally impassable terrain, save the slope. We were granted meagre supplies in exchange for exorbitant tribute by the state of Jae. Oh how we prayed. Each villager came out of their houses and laboured in prayer. There was nothing we could do. The four walls seemed to get closer each passing minute.
****
****
By some miraculous happening, I felt a voice call me, " Windez, you can choose either to stay here and die, or leave with Me." The implication was strong, yet so was the temptation. I would be leaving everyone else to die in the hands of the enemy, while I escape unharmed. Yet I too knew I didn't want to die. The words rang in my mind, "Stay here and die, or leave,
Stay here and die, or leave. There will be consequences." In utter desperation I called out," I want to leave!"
I felt an uplifting of my soul, but as I escaped the mortality of my body, I could see the menacing advancement of the enemy force in my heightened awareness. Something overwhelmed me, and I saw what I didn't before.
I was meant to be here. I will see it through.Before the process was completed, I called once more," No! I want to stay. In spite of all, I want to stay and see this through. I don't know why, but I want to be here, even if it means dying. I will die for this cause!" In a flash, the process was reversed, and the voice left me.
****
****
I looked out. In no time, the state of Jae had its own armada charging straight at us. Having been left defenseless by our failed attempt, all we could do was to wait as destruction swooped down upon us. Then, as the enemy force arrived, we were surprised; no one was harmed. They made every effort to calm our nerves. Rounding up everyone, they took us for a roll-call at the city square.
"Relax, you'll all be fine," a soldier called out. "Now, is everyone accounted for?"
"Yes, sir!" came the reply from another.
"Well then..." As the first soldier started, I felt an uneasy sense of fear wash all over me. "...Let's get the party started!"
We stared in horror, as the soldiers raised their rifles and started to spray hails of bullets at us. How I ran. I hard I ran. Everything turned ethereal from that point. I saw familiar, shockingly familiar faces collapsed. Bludgeoned. Faces of betrayal. As the bullets pounded, the people crumbled. Suddenly, I felt a bullet rip through my flesh. Then came another, and another, yet another. My body lost all strength and as I yielded, I could see the cold, menacing faces on the soldiers. Each one looked utterly gleeful at the massacre.
"Misguided zealots. Look at what your faith has done to you!" a soldier shouted.
Then I woke up. Gulping in mouthfuls of air, I struggled inside. My heart raced at the whole scenario. I got up and washed up and now, hours later, I shudder. There's still that little ache there in my left shoulder. Right where the first bullet connected.
****
It was real. Or at least it felt real. I thought I was about to die. I heard a voice in my dream-state ask me if I'd leave if I had the chance. I took the chance, but later changed my mind. I would stay. I did, and if that dream was real, I'd have died. I don't know if in reality I would make the same choice, but that sure felt like reality. Sunday, May 28, 1.13pm. I will never forget this day.
Psychedelic;
9:50 AM
Saturday, May 27, 2006
I wonder if I'm looking through too small an eyehole. I wonder if what I'm doing is really the best? And I need feedback, comments.
Tell me. Is this the way I should lead?If there is little or no response,
is it because of what I am doing? And I wonder.
Anyway, A HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MENG YU! I forgot how we met and stuff, but he's been a really cool bro, inviting me for mahjong sessions on Sunday and even his birthday. Now I don't get much invites out and stuff, but I'm seriously surprised he does make the effort to invite me even though we don't know each other well. Appreciate it bro! See you there at your birthday party!
I'd give a 200% if I could. Or more.
Psychedelic;
11:56 PM
The Story of Edith Burns
I have a question for you my friend. Do you believe in Easter?I want to tell you a true story. It's a story that will change your views and you will never see Easter in the same way again.
Her name was Edith Burns. Edith was a very godly woman and she lived in San Antonio Texas. She was a patient of a very fine doctor whose name was Will Phillips. Doctor Philips is a very kind and godly doctor who loves his patients. Instead of going around to the back of the office in the mornings He always went in through the front door and went straight to the lobby and greeted all his patients.
Well Doctor Phillips got up one morning and went in to greet his patients and he had a very heavy heart because of something that he knew about Edith Burns. You see Edith Burns was his favorite patient and that morning he really dreaded seeing her and as he walked in that waiting room sure enough there was Edith sitting on a chair. Edith always had a big black bible that she carried with her. She had that big black bible open and she was earnestly talking to a young mother that was sitting right beside her. Well Doctor Phillips just smiled be cause he knew why Edith was there and he knew exactly what she was doing because you see Edith Burns had this habit. Whenever she introduced herself she would do it like this. She would always say "Hello my name is Edith Burns do you believe in Easter?" And then she would tell the Easter story. And many many times she would lead people to Jesus Christ.
Well Doctor Phillips left her alone and walked into his office and there he met his head nurse and her name was Beverly. Now Beverly first met Edith when she was taking Edith's blood pressure. And Edith said Beverly My name is Edith Burns "Do You Believe in Easter?" And Beverly said well of course I do and Edith said well what do you believe about Easter. And Beverly said well I believe it's about going to church and Easter egg hunts and wearing new dresses and new clothes and Edith said: Oh No she said "Do You Really Believe In Easter?" Beverly said what do you mean. And Edith told her about the glorious story of the death burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ and right there in that office Beverly bowed her head and gave her life to Jesus Christ. Well doctor Phillips walked in and said we're not going to see Edith right now because it looks like there's another delivery going on in the waiting room. I think there's going to be a new baby born into the kingdom of God so we'll just wait awhile.
After a while Edith came walking in and Beverly said hello Edith how are you. And Edith said fine. Then Beverly said well Edith was there another baby born into the kingdom of God this morning? And Edith Burns said Oh Yes and I want you to do me a favor Beverly I want you to go out there and give her that little track that I wrote about "Easter" and tell her that I'll call her later today so Beverly left and Doctor Phillips came in and Edith took one look at his face and said Now Doctor Phillips Why are you so sad? Now doctor Will have you bee reading your bible? Have you been praying and telling people about Easter? Come on Doctor Will what's the matter with you? Doctor Phillips said Edith we got your lab report back yesterday and Edith you have cancer and your not going to live very long. Well Edith Burns looked and him and said Well Will Phillips shame on you. He said what? She said why are you so sad? She said Doctor Phillips do you think that God makes mistakes? And Doctor Phillips said No. She said do you know what you just told me? You just told me that very soon I'm going to see my precious Lord Jesus and my husband and my friends. You just told me I'm going to celebrate Easter forever and ever and ever. And here you are not wanting to give me my ticket. She said shame on you doctor Will. Doctor Phillips thought what a Great lady she is.
Well Edith looked and Doctor Phillips and said you know what this means don't you? It means that I'm going to have to come into your office at least twice a week. Edith said you know Doctor Will you have alot of patients that need to hear about Easter and then she said you know Doctor Will your waiting room is the best fishing hole for souls that I've ever seen. So Edith started coming in but you know she didn't start coming in twice a week. She started coming in every day. She even brought a sack lunch so she could stay all day long. And every time someone would come into the waiting room she would say Hello my name is Edith Burns "Do You Believe In Easter?" And every single day at least one of those patients were born into the family of God. Every single day.
Well Christmas came and they shut down the office till January 3 and they didn't see Edith for a couple of weeks. January 3 came around and they opened up the office but Edith didn't show up. Then about 2 o'clock in the afternoon she called and said that she was at Mercy Hospital in San Antonio Texas and said that God had told her to take her Easter story there but they wouldn't let her in. She said that she had to be recommended by a certified doctor. Then she said Will are you certified? Doctor Phillips said yes Edith I'm certified. So Edith said could you get me into this hospital? And Doctor Phillips said Yes Edith I'll get you into that hospital. Then the voice on the other end of the line began to crack and to quiver and Edith said Will, God has told me that I will be home very soon. And I won't be here very long. So Edith said doctor will you do me just one other favor? And he said what do you want Edith and she said would you make sure I get a double room and would you make sure that I only get women that need to hear about Easter. And doctor Phillips said yes I'll see to it Edith.
Well they put her in that hospital room and sure enough patient after patient began to go into that room and they would no sooner get under the covers of their bed and Edith would say Hello I'm Edith Burns "Do You Believe In Easter? Then she would begin to tell them the glorious story of the death burial and resurrection of Jesus. And almost without exception every woman that came into the hospital room was wonderfully and Gloriously saved. Well flowers started coming in from everywhere and everyone claimed Edith as their mother. And nurses and orderlies started coming in from everywhere and everytime anyone came into her room she would always say Hello I'm Edith Burns "Do You Believe In Easter? And many of those nurses and orderlies on that hospital floor got saved. And two of the doctors of that hospital floor got saved. And a strange thing happened on the eighth floor of the Mercy hospital. Nurses and orderlies and doctors started walking up and down the isles saying Happy Easter, Happy Easter, Happy Easter. As a matter of a fact they nick named Edith Burns "Edith Easter".
Everybody on that floor was excited about Edith Easter "Except" for the head nurse. This head nurse's name was Phyllis Cross. She was an Army nurse and she was the original GI Jane. She had seen it all. She had heard it all, she had been married 3 times. She was a partier, she was lonely, she was bitter, she was angry, and she had no use for Christianity and she let everybody on that floor know. You keep that Edith Easter away from me she is nothing but a religious nut and I don't want anything to do with her. Well one day the two nurses that usually took care of Edith were sick and Edith had the flu and Phyllis had to go in and give her a flu shot. She went walking into that room all tough looking and Edith Burns looked at her and said Phyllis I'm praying for you because God Loves you Phyllis and I love you to. She looked at Edith and she said Edith Burns you hag I want to tell you one thing right now don't you start that religious hocus pocus stuff on me you just keep your mouth shut. Edith looked at her with a defiant look and said and I'm going to pray. As a matter of fact God has told me He's not going to let me go home till your born again into the family of God. Phyllis Cross looked at her and said well old woman your never going to die because it ain't ever going to happen and she stomped out of the room. Every day Phyllis Cross would walk in that room and Edith would say God loves you Phyllis and I love you to and I'm praying for you. It was like Chinese water torture to that nurse.
After a while Phyllis said it was like a magnet drawing iron she said I just had to walk into Edith's room. She sat down on the bed next to her and said Edith I want to ask you a question. Edith looked at her and said you know Phyllis I'm so glad you came in here today God told me that this was your special day. And Phyllis said "Oh really" well this is the question that I've wanted to ask you. Edith you have asked every person on this floor if they believe in Easter but you haven't asked me, why haven't you asked me? Edith said Phyllis I wanted to ask you so many times but everytime I went to ask you God would say Don't you ask her that question till she asks you why you haven't asked her that question. Then she said but now that you have asked me that question and she picked up that big black bible and began to share with her the glorious Easter story of the death burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. She said Phyllis do you believe that Jesus Christ is alive. She said do you believe in Easter. She said do you believe that Jesus wants to live in your heart and Phyllis said I want to believe I want Jesus in my heart.
And right there that old hardened Army nurse with the tears flowing bowed her head and gave her heart and life to Jesus Christ. And Phyllis Cross said for the first time in my carrier I didn't walk out of a hospital room I was carried out on wings of angels. Four days later on Easter Sunday Phyllis Cross came into work and did some of her duties and then she thought to herself I think I'll stop by the flower shop and buy some Easter Lilies and take them up to Easter Edith and wish her a happy Easter. So she went down and bought those Easter Lilies and brought them up the eighth floor to room 824 and walked into the room Edith Easter was sitting straight up in the bed. She had the most beautiful smile on her face that she had ever seen in her life.
There in her lap was that big black bible and her hands were in the bible. Well Phyllis Cross when over to her to wish her a happy Easter and when she took her by the hand she realized that Edith Easter was dead. Then she noticed her left hand pointing to a verse. It was John 14 verses 2-3 "In my fathers house are many mansions if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you I will come again and receive you unto myself that where I am there you may be also" Then she noticed that her right finger was pointing to Revelation 21 verse 4 And God Will wipe away every tear from their eyes and there shall be no more death, no sorrow, no more pain, for the former things have passed away. And Phyllis Cross took one look at that dead body in that bed Phyllis looked up and raised her hands to heaven and began to say happy Easter Edith, Happy Easter Edith, Happy Easter Edith.
Phyllis Cross took one last look at that body sitting there in that bed and walked out of that room and there at a table was sitting 2 student nurses. Then Phyllis walked over to those nurses and said excuse me my name is Phyllis Cross "Do You Believe In Easter?"
I Believe In Easter. What about you? Tag.
Psychedelic;
11:26 PM
Friday, May 26, 2006
It's interesting how God places different events here and there in your life to really jolt you. I almost got how to play Heart Of Worship already! I still remember the time when I first got my guitar. I didn't have the discipline and heart to practise real hard for it. Well, the realisation that CG's going to split officially soon has got me on my toes. I'll admit this, I need all the help I can get. Why are my evangelistic efforts reaping zilch?
Fear. Or the lack of hope. I can't believe I've struggled with sharing for the past year. It's going to be a major breakthrough, and when I've finally passed that point, I'm going to jump, shout, scream, break down, or whatever you say. Don't care if I make a fool of myself. The real fool laughs at God's salvation and refuses it. But what fear am I talking about?...
...I shall unveil with a little story:
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The Little Weasel
Little Johnny winced in pain. Once again, he cursed the "fruits" of his "labour". Having a penchant for mischief and an indomitable spirit of poking fun, it was no easy task stopping himself for gatecrashing and messing up the plans of his family. There was even a point in Johnny's life he thought the whole family must have been cursed for having such a weasel in the bloodline. There was once when he tripped the son of his father's friend in an effort to spice up the mood of the outing. Big mistake. The poor kid wailed in pain, blood in between his teeth and Johnny suffered the repercussions of his well-meaning gesture. Try as he might, Johnny never could resist the temptation to create fun. Yet the aftermath left little to be desired. Often Johnny would get painful beatings for his effort. Bitter medicine for the mischievousness, they would say. For years little Johnny wondered the cause or motivation for his mischief...
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That's me. Yup. Naughty as anything. Now read the continuation.
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My Malignant Childhood
...Deep down inside, Johnny craved for attention. There was this deep longing to be recognised as important in his own little way. It didn't help that he was wedged between his elder brother's manly, future-head-of-the-household image and his younger brother's to-be-pampered-baby-child image. The tears came flowing frequently, often each night, and Johnny grew desperate in with each passing day. Each time the cane bore down at him, he felt lesser and lesser. There seemed to be no escape from the vicious cycle he was in. How Johnny longed to be sensible! Finally, in utter defeat, Johnny withdrew into a shell of his own. Johnny couldn't take much more, and it seemed the only option out. Even a little kid could understand what it means to have endured enough...
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No comments, read on...
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Post Childhood, Teen Angst
...All this while, Johnny felt like an alien among people. As the years passed, he grew up, yet seemed to remain in psychological stasis. No matter what he did, he didn't seem to be
growing up. There was still that inner child grappling within which exploded each time he tried to release the tension within. With no future in sight, Johnny skimmed through his teenhood, treating everything of minimal significance...
****
Go on...
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Present To Future
..."Have you ever known of this great plan everyone has a part to play," Alvin asked.
"Well, no, I've got no idea. I've heard bits and pieces, but share more," Johnny replied. Before long, Johnny saw the only Way and Truth, and claimed it. Yet there was never a promise to eliminate all problems, only that he would not be alone when facing them. And Johnny has been in this battle ever since...
****
What's to come in the future? God knows.
Psychedelic;
10:50 AM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
If there's one thing I know about myself, it is this:
I am unwilling carnally. Honestly I am unwilling to give up my games, take away my earpieces, skip my television and MSN time just to craft out smses to encourage, spend Quiet Time to grow and put in more effort than others. I see why I should do it, but my body is not convinced.
Yet again, I want to be willing to be willing to be willing, that's why I do what I do. I know it's a borrowed saying, but it rings true here. Honestly speaking, I know this is not me, but it's a good thing; breakthroughs happen when we push ourselves beyond our comfort zone.
And already the Devil is attacking me. Why does he love to manipulate people. It just breaks my heart that unity is destroyed from within. To learn to love while being misunderstood is hard. God help me love my people, even those who reject the call to arms. Come on, you want to see me cry? When I do, God's wrath will be upon you Satan!My people are the importance, not myself. Help me
know that through and through, cell by cell, impulse by impulse. And I lift everything up to You God.
Psychedelic;
9:12 AM
The more I know about life, the less I think I know about it. Here's why:
The perfect pieces of childhood coalsces into a grotesque frame of terror, hate and destruction. Because, even in spite of this, we have one way out; Jesus. The irony is that people know they are hurting inside, yet they refuse the help, the
only help.
Well, time for another little tale from my creative juices:
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It's been a while, and honestly I haven't been in the best of shape. Has always been one of my weaknesses. My situation is such that I am contented resisting what is wrong, yet deep inside I am not contented keeping the status quo. Don't get me wrong, there is no contradiction. Let me explain it in the form of the theory of the edge of chaos. Neither here, nor there. Stable, yet unstable. It's a sensitive mix. There's still that anticipation and sense of hope if you may call it. It's a messy piece of business. It's a pity when I realise how much courage I lack. So I've laid down my piece, what about yours?--ZackI picked up the scrap of note. It sure felt familiar as ever, and for a moment I pause. Then, taking it by the sides, I crumpled it up and threw it away. A part of my history. I should get going.
****
I can picture the scene perfectly. I feel that personal experiences are always the most powerful pieces of drama we can ever film. But that's only me. Like I said, the more I know about life, the less I feel I know about it. And I don't like seeking worldly solace; they always fail you. Computer games get boring.
Help me climb over this wall that I have built.
Psychedelic;
5:09 AM
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
My finger feels weird. It always does after some intensive practice on the guitar. I think I'm a sadist or something, because the feeling's weirdly good. Like I've accomplished something. Awesome. Though I didn't manage to play much more than some ramblings and joyful noise (as Pastor Jeff aptly puts it), I believe I'll be able to get my skills up in time for CG. That leaves me with 2 weeks, from scratch.
Skipped class today for a few more winks. Woke up wondering if I had died or something. Felt totally drained and dead flat out. Guess I talked too long with Thomas the previous night. He came by my house to borrow something. Haven't seen him in ages, as with the rest of the RP team. It still is funny how we met, because he's from NYP. Really hope to see him come back to church.
Alvin impersonated Nel to give me some advice. Honestly speaking, I knew it was him because I didn't close the previous chat conversation when
he was still him and not her (LOL!). I guess though, hearing it as if its from Nel has its effects. It sounded so "Nel" though, but I agree with what he said.
Energy management.
It's pretty cool, when I woke up somewhere around 11.30am, I had this vivid recollection of my dream in which I woke up 20kg heavier, which is like my optimum weight. Even though, it was really a dream, and I am still fly-weight as of typing this, it did do some good to my confidence. o_O
A pretty cool (by that I mean insightful, just my slang) turn of events inspired me regard some matters. It's abit sensitive so I shan't type it out here. I realised how a simple innocent looking decision we make can inevitably change the whole course of our lives.
Just like that innocent looking apple that Eve bit. Yet we were not left without warning. The phrase guarding your heart has never been more real in my life. In subtle ways Satan comes to test the perimeters of our defense till he finds a weakness.
Job is a huge example.
A word of encouragement to all:
Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
I still firmly believe I will grow up and out of the characteristics which bind me to my situation right now. ;)
Psychedelic;
9:35 AM
Monday, May 22, 2006
In victory I'll shout. Was feeling drained, down and generally listlessly, but I'm all pepped up now. Moodiness drips like wet paint on a wall; it's up to us to wipe them of. Very encouraged during the sharing with Heng Yu on the way to the station. My life's not a bed of roses now, but I'm determined that He will see it through. 1st stop, don't even play Diablo 2. They result in late nights.
I was compelled to see my sheep off at Jurong East station, rather than let him go on his way at Bukit Batok, through the sharing process. When you share, miraculously, the work you are doing for God rejuvenates you. I'm totally awed.
SOWing needs a pep boost. I need a breakthrough in speaking into my contact's life. That's all I can hope for now; a divine miracle. And I'm trying to change my views towards my classmates. I don't have to get all jumpy inspite of the situation. I can do it.
I can do it.Take charge of your community. Commit not time, but your life. Destroy not inclinations, but bad character.
And a light-hearted little joke Sharon, Alvin and Heng Yu shared about me after dinnertime:
Alvin offers a biscuit wafer.Windez: Oooh thanks, they've always been one of my childhood fantasies.
Alvin: Yeah, they're mine too!
(Suddenly, a stunned silence.)Sharon starts her signature laughter.
Heng Yu:...
DIAOZ!Alvin starts a laughter that comes so closely to defeating Sharon's brand of laughter.
Windez: What?!
Sharon: Windez, I didn't know you
fantasize about wafers.
*continues laughing*Heng Yu: No wonder he doesn't sleep well.
Alvin: Well at least now you don't have to continue fantasizing, you know where to get them!
Windez: ... (thinking why the rest didn't catch that Alvin said, "yeah, they're mine too!") *Hmmph! Not fair!*
Oh yeah, and did you guys know Sharon's the star in a poster? Just look at Garfield 2 posters and you'll get what I mean. Same belch. Same characteristics. Same
head.
Psychedelic;
8:57 AM
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Nothing much, really. Except, we've got a new plan, Heng Yu's got a new laptop, I've got some new revelations, today's (Monday now) a new day, and so on. Gosh Guang Liang rocks. Hehe, guess I'm really, truely, officially hooked onto chinese songs. Used to hate them, because I hated the language. Now I find it *only* a *minor* obstacle. >_<"!
Heng Yu's got a hair cut, and I visited the same place 2 days in a row... Omigosh, can make it my new haunt already. Pity though, I can only stare at Subway; it's way too expensive >_<"! And I like the way the Western stall at UE Square foodcourt operates; it allows us to mix N' match side orders. Wicked. :D... *drools* Okay okay, so the food ain't fantastic, so what? Concepts sell nowadays, not just the quality, which is a *pity*.
Congrats shepherd, my new Barbarian's name's (I know, old game) inspired by you! Meet *cRazyTHUMB*! Wahahaha... Hmmm, MSN's getting barren and boring nowadays. Ah well, time to go hit the sack. *I've got BK coupons!* Breakfast tomorrow's covered!
A
"NO-LINK" Joke
Joshua's
call to be courageous. They didn't have
phones at that time.
Psychedelic;
9:27 AM
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Honestly when I went down to heed the altar call, it wasn't in power, it was in fear and trembling. Serving God, I learnt through the times, is more than just putting in effort; it's a true burden for people, its a real-life business that's geared for eternity and not the transient allure of instant-gratification. Pastor Ben's sermon did much to enlighten me on my role in the church; similarly for every single Christian, it's no light joke. Each part you play can mean the difference between portraying Jesus in your life and saving others, or turning others from the faith. Well, I guess that's why I'm pretty much more uptight and serious :X. Hey, gimme a break will ya!
I noticed I lost much of my exuberance. Well, it works both ways; one, I become more serious, but on the other hand, hmmm... Well yeah, we'll keep it at that. Which brings to mind the word "balance". Balance is in so many ways lacking in our lives; we either slack too much, or burn ourselves out (though it's rarely the second). I've got to kick-start that hanging around with other people; observe and learn how to interact! I've always been an alien at interaction, I admit, but that's one thing which God has changed verily, in my life. B-A-L-A-N-C-E. I can if I believe in it!
MY APOLOGIES LESTER! Our sleepover at my house was, by my fault, badly-planned. I suck at hosting guests. A point to note and improve on. Seems like I didn't prepare anything interesting to do. No worries, it's only going to get better. You know, the old joke about guys' conversations being "Chop, chop!" I kind of believe it right now, even though I'm supposedly super noisy and crappy.
If there's something I learnt, its that no one is hopeless. Two very amazing people I've met are:
1) My sheep, Heng Yu. This quiet guy's a powerhouse for miracles. He used to be the epitome of silence. Get it? Silence. I never knew what was going on in his mind. Well, honestly, I still can't read minds, but at least he's speaking up and stuff. And I believe he'll only get better. It's been a few months le, sheep. See your improvements; appreciate them! Now jia you, we'll do it together, as a team!
2) Jeremy Wee, our super loyal faithful visitor who converted this year. He may not have known it, but he's taught me a thing or two today! It's not just how real and factual your sharing can be; it's how much
relevance to your life. It's the power of life-change! Appreciate your effort in talking to me! Let's grow together!
Argh, guess my post got lost in translation, so I have to like retype some stuff. My brain's kind of having some cramps, so I can't recall and stuff. X_X I'll try though.
Each step
towards God we take brings us to a crossroads; to take the leap of faith or not to. Depending on your choice, it can either make each passing leap of faith an empowering moment, or it can totally destroy our desire to do so, if we keep on procrastinating our efforts. Where are you now? Self-reflection and not self-criticism. Criticism is negatively repudiating, yet reflection and evaluation looks at building up.
Body(of Christ)-
building. Ask yourself.
Quote from Nel(whines): I don't know how to end high!Quote from Alvin(excited): Never mind, I do!Quote from the rest: Uhh, Alvin, you don't have to try so hard...*rolls eyes*
Psychedelic;
10:49 AM
Thursday, May 18, 2006
My day was
pure bad. Started off bad, ended off bad. Even the night wasn't good. And a baloney of a presentation I had today too. Not sure why, even though I skipped breaks and did my best, it didn't work out. Presentation was crap. Yet,in spite of my troubles, there's someone who needs prayers, right now.
Alvin's got a cute little brother that decides to be brave. Though only a tender age of 5, he has had to undergo a very dangerous operation today. Don't imagine the sense of helplessness and uncertainty of his bro but pray for him. Come on, let's get the Spirit moving.
In so many ways I lack the courage. To stand up, to face issues. To wrestle for victory. Help me Lord!
Psychedelic;
8:33 AM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Honestly, it's a drag going to school. More so, when on Wednesday, almost every year 2 and year 3 doesn't have to come. Almost, just almost wanted to rush into a fight on Tuesday. I ain't perfect, and weeks of taunting and sarcasm is taking its toil. There isn't much patience left. Yet the question stands,
What keeps me going? Knowing the purpose of coming to school, the consequences of not coming, the opportunities of coming, the challenges for breakthrough. I may not be patient, but I can train my patience.
Today's lesson was on typefaces (otherwise known to the common layman as "fonts"). And since words are my passion, I'm going to give it extra air-time. :D It's interesting how little variables and elements in a particular advertisement add/subtract to the overall informative/attention-grabbing effect. Choose a right font, and you might just get a windfall of response. Choose a wrong one, and your potential customers might just be left wondering how they would ever understand your ad. New Media's been amazing. Film and advertisements are never seen in the same light again. A primary school teacher, one that I respect, once said, "A common layman sees a motorcycle as just any other blur on the road. Yet an experience bike-watcher can pick out specific parts of the motorcycle even at high speed."
I ain't courageous, neither am I patient, nor understanding or discerning. I guess try to grow, yet often I fail. Crack, break, fall. In the human perspective it seems to be a vicious cycle; each fall becomes repetitive. Yet from the long-term perspective, each time I get up, there is no turning back. Each step is a step toward eternity, and everytime I find myself falling into self-pity and anguish, I look up and can't help but praising Him. I can't take the craven coward's trip back. I absolutely cannot give up what I've found already. It's difficult to explain, it's something supernatural.
Time to multiply.
Psychedelic;
6:00 AM
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Painkillers don't solve the problem; they postpone it. Healing comes from coping with the pain. You don't want to take morphine unless the wound's fatal. Bit by bit, step by step, I will overcome my issues. Character is moulded in trials.Nice well-thought out plan shepherd! I think the month of May's certainly going to be very happening, and so is RP2 & 4 ministry. Enthusiasm comes from within. Just as spirituality is not about closing our eyes and muttering gibberish, so enthusiasm isn't being all rowdy and noisy. Spirituality is walking with God, and enthusiasm is the slow, steady fire that keeps our engine going. Think about it; are you running on enthusiasm, or because of position and status?
It makes a big difference whether we put the Bible
by our side, or in our hearts. Placing it by our side, there is no effort, no stress, no impartation or breakthrough, its just there, per se. In contrast, placing it in our hearts requires effort, induces stress because impartation is powerful, incurring breakthroughs. Do you
really want breakthroughs? If you do, well, that Bible's
waiting, even begging to be placed in your heart. Go for it, and tell me about it!
Seconds tick by, anointment waiting to flow onto those who are willing to sacrifice first, then receive next. Think about it; do you go to work, or do you take your pay first? Do you open your mouth, or do you digest the food first?How powerful our environment, attitudes and circumstances show us biblical principles we never took notice before!
Psychedelic;
8:16 AM
Monday, May 15, 2006
Often times I just can't help but think back, and my stomach goes all queasy and my legs go all weak inside. I become an empty hull. That's when I need to be filled.I almost puked. Thanks a lot Sharon. Made me go find an old classmate who somehow has taken a liking to blowing kisses and saying, "Hey, do you miss me? My
hamsters miss you!" I was like, what the...? Couldn't stand it, almost puked. I mean, honestly speaking, acting cute... and stuff. It's not that I don't want to try to be a friend. It's... honestly, difficult, even a struggle. *Sighs* I'll still try.
If at any time you find yourself alone or lonely, remember, the police can almost charge you for unlawful assembly; you have the Father, Son and Holy Spirit with you, and that altogether makes a group of four. Add another person and you're officially breaking the law.
Psychedelic;
10:16 PM
Answer to previous post:Cold doesn't exist. It's the absence of heat.Evil doesn't exist. It's the absence of God.Hate doesn't exist. It's the absence of love.Darkness doesn't exist. It's absence of Light.Fear doesn't exist. It's the absence of hope.So don't let the Devil fool you with illusions!Just reached home from The Da Vinci Code seminar at Hope just now. Awesome. I really wanted to go up to ask a question... only, I didn't know what to ask. LOL! I didn't read the book, figured it be best if I attended the seminar and learnt more, before I actually took a wade into the deep end of the pool. The upside's my faith wasn't affected, but the downside's I didn't come prepared with any questions. Awww. Nevertheless, I still learnt a lot!
Anyway my sheep just surprised me with an
encouraging SMS.
"Good night Windez my bony friend. You are the lamer of Hope RP. Your jokes can freeze the air. With your straggly straw hair, when I need you, you'll be there."
Way to go dude, rock on, grow in your faith! We'll see miracles rippling through Hope RP!
On overcoming problems, inspired by the talk with Alvin. Did you know, each time we feel we are constricted by problems, it's just a wall we have built around us? If only we do not run around looking for the way out, but instead learn to look upward, realising that the wall can be scaled over, we would have overcomed the challenge. Problems arise from sin, a fracture of our character. If, then, we solve the root issue, that is our character issue, we find the solution to our problem and similar future problems. If, however, we choose to run around the constricting wall, further fracturing our character by the bumps and bruises, creating other walls and closing up the remaining space, it would take us much more climbs than originally needed. Choose wisely, learn to look upward. The wall has no ceiling;
It can be scaled.How do we foster outward-lookingness? Through impartation and sharing of visions and goals, through inspiring and fanning the flames of passion for God. While evaluation and self-reflection may be fundamental checks in our personal walk, too much can bring about a sense of inward-lookingness, where everyone is overly-concerned about their negative points. A mixture is a good thing, but I guess right now what we need, is a dose of the former.
And help me do just that.Help me take out the
I and put in the
You. Help me settle the storm in my heart. Help steer me back to dry shores.
***And dudes/dudettes, tag when you come by!***
Psychedelic;
9:40 AM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
You know, how uptight we are about not falling away and keeping our QT in check and growing our groups... it's inevitable we forget something. After all, we're only human. I did something unthinkable today. I left my msn afk for the whole day. by the time I came back to the computer at around midnight, I noted the numerous chat windows and well, felt... I don't know how to explain. The kind of feeling when you're addicted to something. And, uhm... yeah, I admit it, I'm addicted to MSN. Grrr. Not a good thing.
I know, yet I do not know. I need to do, yet I do not do. The human constitution is weak. Is this what You mean by humbling me? I'm not sure how much longer I can take it, but I'll do my best. You've shown me the blind spots. I'll show you the effort.Going to conclude my simultaneous chats with my buddies, Lester and David. I really admire the humility and resolve of Elisha, disciple of Elijah. When we're weakened by the distractions and temptations of the modern world, such resolve is hard to find. I don't care, I'm going to be the miracle,
You promised it.I end this entry with a rhetorical question:
Do cold, evil or hate exist? Tell me about it.
Psychedelic;
9:35 AM
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Friday was a pretty hectic day. Attended to the Men's Conference. The 1st immediate impact was realising that I was the only guy present from RP2 & 4. I can't stand it!
Miss one conference/service/encounter and you could well miss that much needed breakthrough...! The next stop was Darryl's house for mahjong. It wasn't so much for the mahjong but the fellowship. Sure it's fun to be able to play games together and stuff, what's really long-term about meet-ups is that we share facets of our lives to others! Went off with Jeremy and we had a nice long catch-up at the bus-stop. It was then I realised the false illusion MSN can give us about life impartation. No expressions and body language can be read, nuances in speech that can give non-verbal cues are diminished because the conversation is semi-real time (lag, ability to backspace, lack of facial expression). The next destination was home.
Saturday was service day. Prayer meet was a hearty time. Service was even better. A great job to Alvin and the drama team! Rushed off after service for a dinner with my dad and his friends, as well as their kids. Had a light Oriental-style meal and we packed up to head to one of dad's friend's house. The ride there was filled in with discussions on politics. Gave my humble views, but it was hearing from the different perspectives that was the real treat. Realised that my dad's friend has an integrated karaoke system with over 6000 songs (wicked!)...to which one of my friends joked," Yeah, and 5999 are oldies!" LOL. What can I say? He was
almost right. So while the old fogeys (ha ha, since they
don't read my blog, I
should be fine!) had fun with their karaoke session, the dudes (that's us!) started on our yearly tradition; Risk. That particular Risk session, however, was significantly different; there wasn't a clear winner anywhere apparent. I learnt two things about myself.
1. I either win spectacularly, or lose outrageously in dice-throwing. (Example was using 10 troops to bring down a combined army of 20 odd attackers, and losing 12 troops, bringing down only 3 troops.)
2. I suck at macro-level strategy. (Opened too many fronts, consolidated too little troops. I was basically the gung-ho one. Thankfully my dice throws were just as audacious.)
Had a few go's at the karaoke system also. By that time I was nearly delirious from fatigue. Didn't have a good showing. Never mind. Next time. We're planning a Kbox outing next Sunday. Heheh.
Pity. Amidst all the rush of activities, my mind still stuck with my group. I realised emotional attachment can go two ways. One, it can help create burden. Two, it can help destroy enjoying the company of other friends and stuff. Well, you get my point.
'Nuff said.
Psychedelic;
11:58 PM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
I can't even differentiate if right now I am experiencing
despair, irritance or pure helplessness.
Totally didn't enjoy that.
When I prayed that prayer, I expected this. I just didn't expect... never mind. I feel like running away; running back to seek God...
On top of that, I guess old troubles come back to haunt you unless they find resolution. Heal me O Lord. Heal me.
Psychedelic;
12:51 AM
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Lord humble me. When you say that prayer, you cling onto your faith by the thinnest breadth. I see so many things about myself its disconcerting. Couldn't concentrate during Care Group today. My bad! Beyond the shadow of doubt I know my God is real and everything I do is for real. Yet fear still decrepitates my courage.
It's at these times when apologetics and intensive Bible study helps. Give me time for that.I didn't really know what to do for lessons today. Recently classes have been a harrowing experience; though my results are slipping, I anticipated it beforehand. Rather it is that feeling of not knowing a direction, or at times, feeling as if I have no say or power or whatsoever. Nevertheless, I take solace in that I still learn much from classes.
It's the lack of meaningful effort that I'm harried about.Matthew 25:14-30,
the Parable of the Talents taught me a little about attitude today. The first two servants put in what effort they could muster, but the third servant did not, whether in fear of his master or in sloth.
Made me feel like the third servant. Why?
Give me humongous spiritual ears, that I may hear every call from You. More of You, less of me. Take myself lightly, take You greatly. I have no lack of challenges. Mould me into the solution.I'm tired. Be back tomorrow.
Psychedelic;
9:12 AM
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Lots of stuff happened today, good and bad...
When death stares at you in the face, it's not funny at all. Zhi Wei blacked out at Burger King this morning. Eyes wide open yet lifeless. I freaked out,
totally. Luckily he revived.
And then there was that baloney of a class today. Not enough time yet by some bizarre miracle we managed to complete our stuff, albeit late.
Evangelism today was a real challenge; I was like half-dead. Yet little did Jovin expect it, but his enthusiasm was the thing which fired me up. RP1 & 3 are great examples...! RP2 & 4, we've got to GROW!
...And then there was the old man. Came into the train drunk, staggering toward an empty seat till he fell on top of a surprised me. Sharon and I immediately stopped the crapping. The guy blabbered gibberish, but I gleaned some stuff from the conversation, "unfair", and, "prices",
it reiterated a certain trend; we love to complain but not act.QT refreshed me. So did the push-ups.
And yes I can do push-ups. The bath made me further rejuvenated. So much so I could prepare a whole load of things and stay awake, which is a miracle for a sleep-deprived me. Have to thank Jason for today though, because
MY SCRUMMY SABLE blogskin's ALIVE AGAIN! I realised the mistake; used the wrong code for the visibility option. And that's like my official SECOND blogskin made! (The 1st one isn't even worth the memory, some ramble...)
Yummy. Think Ya Kun? Think Windez. Personally made my own kaya sandwich (which unfortunately was not toasted), soft-boiled a pair of eggs (which was considerably more well done), but substituted the coffee/tea/milo for Essence of Chicken. For dinner. Hehe.
Hey, check this out!
A Kodak Moment
A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather one morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made the daily trek to the elementary school. As the day progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother was worried that her daughter would be frightened walking back home from school, and she herself feared the electrical storm might cause her harm. Following each roar of the thunder, lightning would cut through the sky like a flaming sword. Being very concerned, the mother got into her car and drove along the route to the school.Soon she saw her small child walking along. The thunder would boom, and then, at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look and smile. One followed another, each time with her child stopping, looking up at the streak of light and smiling. Finally, the mother called out and asked, "Honey, what are you doing?" Her little girl answered, "God keeps taking pictures of me!"So now I'm fulfilled on all counts except a few; one of which is sleep.
Cheese!
*Snore*
Psychedelic;
8:53 AM
Monday, May 08, 2006
*___* I'm seeing stars. Sleepy, tired, ready to go into hibernation mode.
Who says we can't skip classes? The whole gang of us did; Sharon, Alvin, Jerrome, Elaine, Heng Yu & myself. We headed back to my house after breakfast. Had a round or two of DotA there. Sharon and Alvin were supposed to learn! Had impromptu-worship. After that, Elaine & Heng Yu went to "study" for their UTs while Sharon & I went to practise for CG worship. Alvin & Jerrome basically sat in through the entire practice; Alvin was adding to the quality of the worship while Jerrome sat in the background being, well, the background. Went for lunch at Westmall before heading back to school.
Sharing what is good, the good news. Went along with Alvin, Jovin, Jerrome, Wei Jian & Martin for the invitation to "I.D. Theft". The whole experience ROCKED! Though I was originally apprehensive, feeling out of place, I put in much effort and the conversations soon came fast and easy. Was encouraged by the whole experience!
Leading a Care Group isn't a walk in the park. It's a walk in God's park. I must keep reminding myself of that fact. That He's in control, and everything I do I should consult Him. Had a discussion with Nel and Sharon on the direction of RP2. Being a new care leader myself, there were burning issues which I raised up in order to better understand the situation. Took off with Jasmine, Elaine & Heng Yu to meet their friend from NP's ministry. (my bad, I forgot the name).
My weakness is in people-to-people communication. Grrr. I took it as a great opportunity to interact. Wasn't good nor bad. Basically sat staring at them eating, reminding myself of the purpose of my fast. Drilling in principles! After a "short" stroll around Westmall, we headed towards the bus interchange.
I saw that old lady again, the one selling tissue paper. Never could remain unaffected by that sight. She's so old yet she still works. Bought a stack of tissue paper from her. Met Stephen & Ernest; they too were buying a stack of tissue paper from her. Turns out they were heading toward another brother, Tobias' house. Led them there since they were unfamiliar to the place. Once again, my skewered sense of direction caused us much trouble going round and round the neighbourhood finding the right block... Headed home straight after that.
So even though I skipped class, the day was pretty eventful.
Yah.
o_O
Psychedelic;
6:49 AM
Sunday, May 07, 2006
The exhilaration! Of fixing my blogspot up, saving tons of people the trouble each time I update, wow, it's awesome! Okay, back to topic.
Preparation and planning isn't enough. How much of it makes all the difference. Met Darryl and Heng Yu at Novena. (Also caught Cedric with his mom and sis there, shopping for stuff. Turns out Adidas has a 50% offer. Great. o_O"!) Well, so we went off to get Darryl's cut @ $5! Not bad eh? Shepherding with Heng Yu after that. RP2 has to move ahead. I am
terrified honestly. (Heb 11:1)
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.I hate having that Pharisee-attitude. Sadly though, I did just that today. You know how apprehensive we can get not wanting our sheeps/people to stray off by bad company? Well, today, I took it
one step too far. An old friend of mine, not necessarily the best character of all, wanted to tag along with us on the journey to my house. Inside my heart, I was thinking," Oh no! I better find an excuse to get out of it!" Suddenly, the Holy Spirit stirred in my heart. I repented on the spot. I realised I had gone overboard and overzealous; I was discriminating the person. Instantly, I resolved to rectify the situation in love. I started to soften my stance and, well, to say the least, we had an enjoyable chat on the train! A bon voyage on your Genting trip dude!
"Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground." A quote I *sort of* took from Samuel's personal message. How often do we admire Reinhard Bonnke or Rick Warren or Darlene Zschech? Yet the power of the Holy Spirit is not just to be awed at; it
can and is to be replicated! There are ways and steps, yet I believe the heart is the most important. My prayer, is that I am changed from the deepest of my heart. And I will nurture yet another mighty oak from today's nut.
Which brings us to the end of this post. ***WARNING! DO NOT READ ON IF YOU DON'T WANT AN ANTI-CLIMAX ENDING***
You've been warned...
Good night!
Psychedelic;
10:51 AM
It's a new beginning in many ways! Okay, so Scrummy Sable didn't make it to the grandstands yet... So what? Well, I've here Scrummy Crap Version, thanks to
www.blogskin.com! This'll be my temporary blogskin while Scrummy Sable gets fixed... in about two weeks' time!
Psychedelic;
10:46 AM
